A conversation with Eniola | A transcript from Episode 5 of Breakfast & Launch
Editor’s note
Some people think best by listening. Others by reading.
Every conversation on Breakfast & Launch begins as spoken language, but I believe good conversations deserve a second life on the page.
What follows is a lightly edited version of my second conversation with Eniola — on family, disapproval, childhood trauma, and what it actually takes to heal.
We’ve removed repetition, tightened the language, and reshaped the conversation for readers while preserving the ideas, stories, and personality of the original discussion.
I hope you enjoy reading it.
“That judgment and expectation has no power. It’s there, but it doesn’t hold any power over my awareness of who I am.”
— Eniola
Introduction
In our first conversation, Eniola talked about leaving Google in pursuit of a more aligned life. This time, we go somewhere quieter and harder — the relationships that shape us long before any career decision does: parents, siblings, the disapproval that comes with choosing your own path, and the slow work of healing what that disapproval leaves behind.
Not seeking approval
Taiwo: Your family back home — your parents — do they have opinions about your career choices? How do you deal with that?
Eniola: I don’t seek opinions. I just decide: this is what I’m doing. I don’t ask “should I?” This is what I’m doing, and that’s what I do.
Taiwo: And if they offer disapproval anyway?
Eniola: I listen. I see where they’re coming from. But it doesn’t change what I’m doing. I hear them, and I let them know I’ve heard them.
Taiwo: That’s remarkable. You must have been an easy child to parent.
Eniola: No, I’m not. People like me get seen as rebellious. Our parents’ generation doesn’t want you to have your own way — and when you do, it creates conflict. Control, power, all of that. People like me aren’t seen as easy. We’re seen as nonconformist. Different.
Letting them be who they are
Taiwo: Do you protect your peace from those relationships? Restrict them somewhat?
I’ll give you my own context — I’ve lived a life of big dreams, intuition, a non-traditional path. I could have been a doctor doing all the expected things, and I said no. That’s cost me real peace, real friction in family relationships. It’s held me back too — even at my boldest, the knowledge of their disapproval still limits me. A lot of my growth these past few years has just been fighting that disapproval in my own head. I’m not as free as I’d like to be. I think that happens to a lot of people who build something unconventional — they’re rarely celebrated at home, not for lack of love, but because of fear.
Have you had to restrict some of those relationships, just for a kind of surface-level peace?
Eniola: What does “restrict” mean, actually? Sorry — I’m not great with that word.
Taiwo: Just — manage. Manage how free you let yourself be around them, for peace’s sake.
Eniola: I think I mostly just let them be who they are. Because I’ve accepted myself as I am. At the end of the day, their judgment and expectation exists — I see it, I acknowledge it — but it doesn’t hold power over my own awareness of who I am. So there’s no conflict. If they say something, I just listen. I’m okay. There’s no argument, no back-and-forth.
The trauma we carry as children
Eniola: A lot of that comes from healing. When you grow up, you experience trauma in relationships with your parents, your family — it’s there. As children, we don’t know how to process it, whatever form it takes — disapproval, being told you’re not good enough. So we hold it inside. That’s what comes up later, in adulthood, as: I’m not this, I’m not that.
That needs to be processed. Acknowledged. With my parents, when they start asking why I’m not doing this or that, I can feel the old instinct to fight back, to defend myself. But after doing that enough times, I noticed — it just leaves me depleted. It doesn’t help anything.
It’s painful. And it’s important to actually feel that pain, not skip past it. I let it go, slowly. And what they say is still there, but it doesn’t affect me the way it used to.
Taiwo: That’s remarkable. I heard someone say something similar recently — a guest on Steven Bartlett’s Diary of a CEO. Bartlett asked him what healing actually is, and after a pause, he said: healing is the ability to recall traumatic events without that memory affecting how you behave in the present. He’d been through real trauma — watched his mother take her own life — but said nothing from his past holds power over him anymore.
I think I have more healing to do myself. I’ve been getting there gradually. I’d call that whole process one word: maturity.
Four sisters, complicated love
Taiwo: What about your siblings — similar dynamic?
Eniola: Growing up, it was me and three sisters — four girls total. A lot of conflict. That’s actually where a lot of my childhood pain came from — that, and my parents. A lot of fighting.
As adults, we’ve had to process a lot of that same pain resurfacing. I’ve had to sit with it, work through where it’s coming from. We’re still not especially close — never were, growing up. But there’s a lot of love now. Every time I think of them, I send them love, wish them well. Healing has definitely happened there too.
Eniola: One thing I want to add — it’s important to actually feel that pain rather than cover it up. It’ll come up eventually anyway. Whatever comes up wants to be seen. Wants to be acknowledged. Wants to be healed.
Taiwo: I recently tried to get closure with one of my own siblings — tried to talk through something that had happened between us. But the person more or less denied it happened, and I couldn’t get anywhere. It took a lot of courage just to raise it, and it would’ve taken just as much courage from them to say, “you’re right, that happened.” We weren’t on the same emotional wavelength, and that disappointed me — but it also showed me maybe we’re not there yet, and I don’t need to force it. Maybe I’ve gotten further in my own healing than they have right now. And honestly, I’ve caused my share of hurt too, not just received it. It takes a lot to own that. But we’re all growing. Thank God for growth.
What motherhood taught me about surrender
Eniola: I can’t really answer that in terms of time. It’s just been life — different experiences, over and over. I noticed that choosing to react just stresses me out further, but choosing to stay present, to not let my mind spiral, and just respond instead — that’s worked, again and again.
Taiwo: How long did it take you to move from reactive to grounded?
But honestly, motherhood has been the biggest part of it. Pregnancy, birth, postpartum — it’s like walking through hell. Genuinely challenging. I’ve had to surrender in a way I never had to before. There were moments where all I could do was surrender, because there was nothing else within my control. That experience is really what brought me here.
Closing
Taiwo: I think you’re a rare gem, and I’m so grateful to have met you for this conversation.
Eniola: Same goes for you. The work you’re doing is so important. I’m blessed to have shared this conversation with you.
Thank you for spending this time with us. If today’s conversation gave you something to think about, I’d love for you to subscribe and join us again next week. Until then, keep building with intention.
Prefer watching?
This article is adapted from Episode 5 of Breakfast & Launch. It has been lightly edited for clarity and readability while preserving the substance of the original conversation.
If you’d rather experience the conversation as it was originally spoken, you can watch the full episode on YouTube or listen on your preferred streaming platform.
→ Watch/Listen: Finding Peace at Home