On signal and strategic vulnerability.
Months ago, I ran a recruitment campaign for a Virtual Assistant. I did not actually need one yet, but I thought I did. The recruitment process was challenging, but I eventually found someone I resonated with. She was thoughtful and great with communication.
We had an interview. She wasn’t perfect, but we had good chemistry. I could tell she’d fit well in my workflow. We agreed to stay in touch until I was ready to hire.
We stayed connected on LinkedIn. Her posts were intentional, good. Until one I didn’t agree with.
In it, she said she had no clients, and joked, half-serious, “God, I see what you’re doing for my colleagues. God, abeg.”
I found it unprofessional. Why write that in full view of prospects like me? How does it reflect well on you?
Because we’d started a light relationship, I decided to share my thoughts — a chance to practice some mentorship, which would come in handy if we worked together.
I commented: “Delete this post, and send me a DM.”
Pretty direct. Yeah. I didn’t bother being too soft because I’m naturally direct especially in relationships that are strong enough to handle it. I knew we weren’t there yet, but I took the leap.
She messaged me days later — not about the comment, but to ask if I was ready to start the project. I said no. This was about the post. I told her it wasn’t flattering — it suggested she wasn’t in demand, or didn’t know what to keep private. I told her I cared, and that’s why I said something.
She thanked me, but disagreed. “Clients are people too,” she said. She explained the vulnerability was how she connected with people — and that it had actually brought her clients before.
First, I respected her standing by her work. Second, her logic boggled me. I pointed out to her that content marketing was undoubtedly effective, and that vulnerability itself wasn’t a problem, but that this combination of needless, unflattering exposure was not necessary. Still, I respected her views and we ended the chat.
Immediately, I knew I wouldn’t hire her anymore. If she thought that post was a good idea, I couldn’t trust her judgment on an ongoing creative project that depended almost completely on discernment.
The words of Lauryn Hill came to mind for her; “You might win some, but you really lost one.”